About Risto Klint

About Risto
Here you will find fifty important details about my mental and physical being. Only those with the stamina to read through them all may tell people that they know me...

Knowing me could come in handy. E.g., you are in Montreal, Canada, and need a guide; you need someone to arrange your garden gnomes; or you need some excellent shrimp-peeling tips!

I would prefer it if you just enjoyed yourself in the galleries, but if you wish to know me betther than my wife does... read on!

If there is anything else you would like to know - send me an email!

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You will know me better than my wife does...

- I'm 6'+ tall and weigh 212 pounds (some of it muscle).

- I once dreamt I was chased by the whole San Francisco 49'ers team with a football duct-taped to the side of my head.

- My favorite food is any kind of animal (boiled, grilled, baked, dry-cured or limping).

- I wet my pants in second grade because I got too greedy during a marbles game... :(

- Whenever I'm in a hurry, I always push the wrong speed dial number on the phone.

- I love to have a buzz cut during the summer months. My mother in-law hates it - I love the fact that she hates it!

- My younger brother, Kai, can burp longer than I can hold my breath.

- I have promised myself that I will never buy a Ford again (unless I once again get one of those seemingly amazing deals).

- My favorite drinks are any kind of European beer, wines that have a red tint to them or anything that can be lit and burns hot enough to be considered a weapon.

- My kids are only allowed to have pets that are small enough to be flushed down in the toilet.

- I'm really good at hopscotch, especially after 5 Scotch.

- The first CD I ever bought was Peter Gabriel's "So". It has been downhill from there, with the exception of "Ten Summoner's Tales" by Sting...

- Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, broken mirrors, spilled salt - no, I am not superstitious. I do not believe in UFO's, ghosts, goblins or nonfat ice-cream either.

- I cannot grow a beard! (The hairs look like something a yak sneezed on to my face).

- My favorite snack is popcorn popped in butter with butter on top and butter in the middle with an ice-cold Coke.

- I like to sing and jive to my kids Barney tapes when driving in rush hour traffic...

- I once epoxied a plastic pink flamingo to the hood of a friend's car.

- No matter how rushed I am, I always zip up my pants carefully because once is enough...

- My eyesight has always been poor but it took a really bad hit when I was in my early teens - after I joined a coed basketball team.

- If I was an animal I would be a hedgehog in my sister-in-law's yard because she feeds them her delicious pancakes.

- Yes, I can stand on one foot and grab the other and touch it to my forehead (it is really useful if you need to do that...).

- I have been bitten by a 25-pound Pike and scratched in the face by a 2-pound rabbit (but not at the same time).

- The only issue of Playboy I have ever bought featured the figure skater Katarina Witt... :)

- I think that Supreme gasoline smells better than Regular.

- I got hit in the head with a foul ball the first and only time I went to the ballpark. I was not hurt at all... I just woke up.

- I eat my fries smothered in Ketchup and Dijon mustard. My mother-in-law thinks I'm nuts - I enjoy the fact that she thinks I bang a broken drum.

- The leek is, in my opinion, the funkiest looking vegetable.

- One of my greatest discoveries is that no one tries to cut in front of you in line when you carry a big chainsaw (not even at a Quebec McDonald's.)

- I enjoy cursing in French and Finnish! Tabernac - Perkele!

- My wife thinks I'm going deaf... I think I have perfected my selective hearing.

- I have lost 47 umbrellas to date.

- I'm afraid of bees! Sometimes I mistake flies, butterflies and birds for bees... in the summer months bees pretty much give me all the exercise I need.

- The voice of Mickey Mouse makes me grind my teeth and bang my head with sharp objects.

- In the winter time I like to build snowmen with my kids and make them look like they are about to be hit by an 18-wheeler.

- I missed the first roll call when doing my military service because I misplaced my boots.

- I would rather have 17 Rottweilers lick goat blood off my naked body than drink any kind of Cinnamon flavoured substances... yuck!

- As kid I joined the local Ping-Pong club because aerobics classes where held in the same gym. I never won a game but I did learn a lot of aerobics moves.

- My favorite vegetable is Asparagus, fried in butter with crushed walnuts... mmm...

- I have discovered that - when in a Laundromat no ones tries to steal your cart if you just keep singing Abba songs at the top of your lungs.

- I think squirrels are untrustworthy, and difficult to catch when you are hungry.

- I have never watched a single episode of Baywatch (while my wife has been home).

- I never throw out a pair of boxers until they can be stretched around a beach ball.

- I'm not allowed near the washing machine due to an incident involving a red sock and white laundry.

- I lost 12 IQ points when my kids went through their Teletubby phase.

- No, not Xena, my mistress is named Xara.

- The Phantom was my favorite cartoon character as a kid. He wore purple tights with a hood and mask and knee high leather boots. He had two big guns, a pet wolf named Devil and he lived in a cave shaped like a skull - how cool is that?

- I love blue cheeses that are strong enough to clean the rust out of old bathtubs.

- I do not wear jewelry in my nipples, eyebrows or tongue because the jewelry that goes in those places doesn't come as clip-ons.

- Nothing tastes better than some Reindeer jerky with a sip of a single-malt whisky on a sunny fall day in the Stockholm archipelago.

- The most important lesson I have learned in life: "There is no such thing as a "safe-quick-lick" of a lamp post when it is -20C".

There you have it! That's me!

Risto

This picture was taken while I was tied and dangling from my thumbs in our apple tree! Damn those girl scouts! I *still* hate cookies... but now I keep my mouth shut about it!

If there is anything else you would like to know - send me an email!

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